1. I'm broke.

That's probably the most obvious reason. A few years ago I've started my own business with some friends. Being independent is worth the money I don't earn. Actually, I despise money. Money is nothing more than a subtle form of slavery. Thus, I'm a slave, like everyone else. We are all prostitutes, but I've nothing to sell. If you send me some money, you'll buy my honor without fucking me. It's called charity.

2. I don't run ads on my blog.

Ads are ugly. Ads imply self-censorship. Ads are one of the many symptoms of our failing society. Ads are meant to destroy your critical mind. Ads are the reason why you are a slave. Don't take me wrong, I would have loved to run ads all over the place, but it would have been quite useless (see reason 3). You're probably surfing with Firefox and AdBlock anyway, or even Add-Art. If you aren't, you really should. If you don't send me money, please at least try to make the web a better place.

3. Nobody reads my blog.

Oh, well, maybe you are reading my blog. But you're still nobody. You're a mere number in my statistics dashboard. You're a link from another website. You're a digital shadow meant to impersonate a real person. You're a spambot. But you can become someone, just by sending me money. It would mean you care about me. And I would care about you.

4. I'm not an internet marketing genius.

I don't know how to make thousands of bucks online every month with just one blog. I think I may actually belong to an endangered species, because I keep seeing more and more internet marketing geniuses, professional bloggers and online coaches - at least on Twitter. At this rate, there are good chances you are an internet marketing genius. So please, instead of spamming me with some lousy technique you've copied on another social media expert's blog, send me money, and I'll believe in your marketing skills.

5. I make music and I give it for free.

Usually I'm not a very giving person. Blame it on the fact I'm broke. Or maybe I'm just a selfish asshole. However, I give away my music for free. Sure, it's under a Creative Commons license, but I know pretty well you don't give a shit about licenses. Copyright is dead, I'm just following. Yet, I'm still giving away this damn music for free. Now I'm asking for money, not for the music I've given, but for the music I'll give in the future. It's not even to buy beers, I swear.

6. I'm amusing you.

If you've read this blog entry so far, I'm amusing you. Don't deny it. You've spent twenty seconds thinking about how much my life sucks instead of how much your life sucks. Maybe you're just bored. Maybe you're reading this by mistake. Maybe you're an ultimate groupie stalking me all over the web (ok, probably not). But you're still reading this, and maybe you'll even send this to your friends, in order to look cool. That would be fine, but a donation would be more rewarding.

7. I'm an artist.

Yep, I'm a complete artist. Not only because I say so, even if it would suffice, but also because I've got some shiny official papers from an official art school. I'm so much of an artist that I've been kicked out of this school before the end of my last year. Too much avant-garde interactivity in my work to comply with the official artistic standards. Lately, I've even played live in an art gallery for free. I'm the living misunderstood and starving artist cliché. Be my patron.

8. I have mouths to feed.

I'm living with two cats, a rabbit and a betta splendens. I won't post pictures, they're all so damn cute you'll turn blind. The two cats are slowly driving me insane. The more they eat, the more they shut up. Cats. The rabbit is the most fearsome beast alive. You don't want to mess with it, especially when it's hungry. Might as well lose an arm. And what the hell is a betta splendens? A fighting fish. He's lovely, except he ate his two roommates. So when I say I have mouths to feed, it's a matter of life or death. I need your help.

9. You can buy my friendship.

Feeling lonely, lost in the dreadful Internet? Feeling miserable even out of the Internet, and no creativity at all to escape the harsh reality? No friends? I can help. I'll send you geeky links. I'll listen to you whining about how much your life sucks then cheer you up. I'll recommend you music, books and movies which will expand your mind. I'll play free MMORPG with you. We'll get drunk on Twitter together. I'll send you exclusive tracks. I'll let you tell everyone you actually know me. If you send me money.

10. I need a Tenori-On.

Everything I've written above has been written to get enough content for a decent ordered list. It's all true, but the very damn best reason you have to remember is this one: I need a Tenori-On. I'm currently making music with a dying laptop which was given to me, a Kaossilator, and a Mini Kaoss Pad. That's fine, but terribly cheap. And after years of cheap tunes made with cheap equipment and free softwares, I need a real instrument. Not only because it's pretty. Because it's the next step towards lectronice doing less shitty music. Seriously, watch this, and don't tell me you don't understand why I want a Tenori-On:

Now, if you've got money, let me be your virtual prostitute and send me some. Click here. And if you're as broke as me, please share this post on all your social networks with all your real and imaginary friends. I'll make a song about you. When I'll get a Tenori-On.

EDIT 1: More than six months later, no one has sent me anything. I knew you were all a bunch of rich and greedy bastards. I don't care, I've found some kickass free VST plugins.

EDIT 2: four years later, I'm less broke, but I still have no Tenori-on. My newest intrument is a Native American flute. What I've written above still makes me laugh.